I'm passing your future prison.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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