I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
