i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
