He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
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You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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