You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
