He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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