one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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