How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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