I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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