Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
