question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
