I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
