Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
