I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My dick has a subreddit
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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