Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize