Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
my being single is dangerous.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
