Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
