i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
do herpes really smell.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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