It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
