And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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