Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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