Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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