I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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