party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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