you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
