the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
