I think my fart just growled at me.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
In other news, I just burned my penis
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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