How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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