what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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