She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
