mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
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Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
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Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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