i think my mom watched the whole time
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
