its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize