I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
