The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
