U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
