I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
