Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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