i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
