my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize