i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
