I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize