He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
