It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
