Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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