She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
