I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I look better un-naked...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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