So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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