New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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