i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
