The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
