I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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