wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
