I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
