Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
