wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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