I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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