this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can you bring me the toilet please
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
