i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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