Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
