As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize