I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
