I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
