No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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