Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's blow job season.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
