Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
